a $15 gift card to Louis Vuitton
*buys a piece of dust floating in the air*
'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'
'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'
Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world